Sean Ireland Deer Hunter

I know that may shock a lot of you who have met me, but I am a Deer Hunter. I have never gone hunting in my life. I have neither held nor fired a pistol, rifle, semi-automatic rifle, etc. You may be wondering ‘How are you a Deer Hunter?’ The answer is simple. I hunt deer with my Cavalier.
That is, my Chevrolet Cavalier.
This story starts in May of 2003. It was around the time of Finals, and my family had gone to Becky’s Drive-In to catch their double feature. I don’t recall what the first movie was, I just remember that the second movie was Matrix Reloaded because we spent the drive home talking about the movie. I was driving, my mom had shotgun, and my brother was in the backseat.
As we were driving down 145, (the part of MacArthur Rd north of the Wal-Mart, for those who want to know specifics, and we had just passed the Sheetz heading south toward the Weis) two deer leaped across the road right in front of our car. The first one got across safely. The second did not. The Cavalier smashed into its hindquarters. As we passed the deer took a moment to look directly into my Mom’s eyes. She was terrified. I was a little shocked myself. I pulled into the Weis parking lot, and took a few moments to calm down. A story was started.
Later, in August 2006, I was working at an Arby’s on Schadt Ave in Whitehall, right next to the Wal-Mart and down the street from the Post Office. One of my co-workers, Helen cut herself, and as I was the only spare team member with a car, everyone at the store at that was either a Manager or used public transportation to get to work, I was volunteered to take Helen to the doctor, and drive her to the drug test center. Well, on our way from the doctor to the test center, we found ourselves at the end of Ceder Crest Boulevard where it meets Lehigh St, or is it Emmaus Ave, I don’t recall exactly. As we are turning onto Ceder Crest Boulevard, three deer jump across the street in front of us. Luckily, I did not hit any of them, but it was still a very weird thing to see. Let me put this into perspective for you. The first deer I saw was in the middle of the night, and on a mostly empty stretch of road surrounded by forest, a prime area to meet (and smash into) a deer. This second encounter was in the afternoon, with the sun shining. On a fairly major thoroughfare, with a lot of traffic. And there were no forests anywhere. I had one question: Where the heck did the deer come from?
The third encounter of note took place in May 2007. Lubov, my friend, had just finished her graduation party, and it was about 2 am. I was driving down Interstate 78, and I was merging onto Rte 309. Suddenly, (are you seeing a pattern, yet) a deer appears in my headlights running along the median. Thankfully, the damage was less than my first encounter. The deer and I barely nicked each other, and he was gone. I have no idea what happened to him.
Why does this keep happening to me? I don’t want to be hitting Deer with my car, and I could really do without the constant ribbing I get from my family. If anyone could explain why deer seem to like jumping in front of automobiles that I am driving, I would really like to know.
Regardless, here I am.
Sean Ireland, Deer Hunter. I hunt deer with a Cavalier.